Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
