somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
