Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize