i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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