She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my liver is dry heaving
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
