let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
