I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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