Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
