haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
