I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
