I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
