Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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