smell my finger.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
