He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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