I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
