I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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