why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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