I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
