Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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