The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You dont lie about slip and slides
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
