he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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