Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
