Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
