Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
