Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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