Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
