we'll go far in life on tits alone.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
