weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
