when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
