Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
