i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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