How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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