Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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