You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
