Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Bring me that man meat
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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