at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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