I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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