that's an acceptable place to lick
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
