I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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