Sponge bath it is.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
