There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
