Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
