I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
