Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
