I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Randomize
