Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
