My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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