No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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