yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize