it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
