so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
