Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
