I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I look better un-naked...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
