I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
