i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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