he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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