I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
