Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
