Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
