Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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