Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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