I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
