bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have post one night stand depression
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
