I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
