This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
