just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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