We won't sleep together?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
