Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
