she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
