he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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