i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
