fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
