How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
