She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
